Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance!

https://youtu.be/lx0z9FjxP-Y?t=1m17s

(A clip from "Fried Green Tomatoes," 1991)

Those who I have met in the past six or so years, know me as the bold, fearless and snarky TAG who doesn't take crap from anyone.  However, those who have known far longer remember me as the quiet, shy and awkward person who really wasn't comfortable in my own skin.  As a late bloomer, I was only able to find my self-confidence and my happiness later in life.  As a result, I often think about "Karine's Lost Years," a time when the main thing that held me back was myself.  

While it's nothing that I intentionally try to do today, I often wonder whether my busy social schedule is an attempt to recapture "Karine's Lost Years" and make up for lost time.  Looking back, I realize that I have not made the most of those years, when I was slimmer, fit into a size 2 (*this may not be true, but let me create my own happy unfulfilled memories, please) and looked even younger than I do today.  If I feel like torturing myself, I can think of I could've embodied fabulosity, allowing me to live an exciting and action packed life.  However, unless someone brings me a Tardis or a souped up DeLorean (equipped with Mr. Fusion) for my birthday (you have roughly 70 shopping days, btw), I cannot go back in time and reassure the young me that everything would be ok.

The past, as they say, is in the past.  Instead of thinking about 'what could have been,' I focus my efforts on making the most of who I am now.  True, I may not ever fit into a size 2 again and will never be that young 21 year old fetus who I used to be, but I think I've done a great job of living in the now.  I have a steady job with seniority that allows me to live comfortably, buy the occasional pair of Christian Louboutins and, most importantly, buy a house on my own, without the help of a spouse, a baby daddy or sugar daddy.  While it may be years late, today, I embody fabulosity and have wonderful friends who are there to accompany me on all of my adventures.    

Do I still try to capture some of the magic I would have created during "Karine's Lost Years?"  You BET!!!  Today, I got myself involved in an adventure that a 21 year old, confident me could've rocked, but that today me was just too old for.  However, I can't kick myself for setting off on that adventure because it's just another experience and another memory.  That being said, I also need to remember that, I am now a grown ass woman!  Which is why I had the Fried Green Tomatoes quote stuck in my head... because, while I'm older, I have more insurance (shiny toys and resources) than I did back then.

Years ago, I was on a meditation retreat and spoke to a Buddhist monk, who gave me a great piece of advice, "Don't lament the road behind you because it is what has brought you here."  Sure, it would be nice to go back in time and give that younger me all of the love, reassurance and advice that I needed to open up and blossom, but who knows what my life would be like today?  And which of you that I would have never met?  

Life is a trip in which the journey is more important than the final destination... and I'm grateful to have met each and every one of you along the way!

"Woe is Me" Folk

Friends, it's time to pull down the window of the laboratory hood and turn on the fan... why?  It's time to vent!!!

Over the past few days, I've noticed that I have a few friends who like to publicly lament their woes and problems.  Since I can't consider it humble bragging (like the guy who lamented about how his life sucked because he bought a $300k sports car), I'm trying to figure out what to call it.

Here's the situation.... friend stresses about something online or in chats in person.  Others and I post/give alternative ways to handle their problematic situation which would alleviate their problem.  The friend will then either ignore our suggestions/alternatives or get mad/angry/nervous/stressed that we're trying to help them.  Either way, instead of trying to make things better by alleviating their source of public stress, they prefer to continue complaining about it.

I can't tell if it's just a cry for attention... or if they just don't get it... or if they are staring too closely at the trees and not seeing the big picture forest.

If I'm walking in a random patch of hypothetical wetland and end up in quicksand, I will look around and see what I can use to get out.  If someone is present who wants to help or shout suggestions, I'll definitely take them up on it.  However, what I *won't* do is struggle and panic as I sink further and further into the quicksand, until I am completely submerged.  I've always been a firm believer that, if I'm not doing something right, doubling down on the 'wrong way' isn't going to help.  

So, back to these acquaintances; if they're trying to get attention, they don't realize that, without regard for their motive, they look like indecisive fools who want to sink to their death. And, if they're just clueless and refuse to accept help, then even a Sherpa armed with a seeing eye dog with GPS attached to it won't get them back to the right path.

So, other than muttering 'fool' under my breath, what do I call these people?