I’ve noticed that, recently, there has been a loss of civility on Facebook.
Earlier today, I saw that a friend had posted something on her wall. While I don’t advocate posting political messages on Facebook, her message wasn’t flame bait, even though the response from one of her Facebook friends was quite rude.
A few weeks ago, I had an incident in which a Facebook friend saw fit to venture on my wall and lecture/ wag her finger at me about something that I had posted. The posting wasn’t political and, if you know me, was clearly a joke. However, despite everyone else’s ability to recognize that I was joking, she insisted on wagging her finger at me and telling me over and over again what a horrible person I was, refusing to even acknowledge the point that I was making in my post. Even to this day, she still doesn’t “get it.”
In today’s online society, most of us do not have personal contact with our friends in the way that we used to. Growing up, I remember seeing my friends everyday at school… and writing letters (those weird thingies where I used a pen, an instrument filled with ink, to scrawl letters on paper) to those who I didn’t. While I prefer speaking face to face (or on the phone) with friends, I acknowledge that texting/im’ing/Facebooking is an easy way to keep in touch with people. However, that’s not an excuse to be rude.
Some people seem emboldened by the lack of face to face contact to jump online and tell off whoever they want when, normally, they would remain silent for fear of falling victim to a fatal beating (for more on the criteria for when a fatal beating is necessary, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV4gwR8QDKg). The more horrifying thing about that is that these people don’t feel that they’re doing anything wrong… they’re just exercising their “free speech.”
While I’m not for limiting people’s ability to speak out online or in person, I think it’s important to seriously consider using some Netiquette when you do post. Here are some thoughts that come to mind:
1. If you want to flame troll, do so on your own page. Jumping onto another person’s page to start sh*t/ lecture/ insult/ finger wag is just flat out rude. I treat another person’s Facebook page like their home. I wouldn’t go up to a friend or acquaintance in their home and start trying to goad them into an argument… it’s just rude people!
2. Realize that, if you do flame troll on your own wall, you’re going to lose (reasonable and conflict averse) friends who tire of your insane rantings. You have an absolute right to post whatever you want on *your* page… however, you don’t have an absolute right to force us to read your rantings. Remember, the “hide” or “unfriend” button is only a click away.
3. Related to this is posting about politics. Other than the “Han shot first” debate, I know of nothing else that stirs up emotional than getting political. However, I have to admit, that, while, I’ve posted humorous political blurbs on my page… the key is to keep them light and humorous! If you’re going to post bigoted or hateful things that are intended to rile up people, you’re only brewing up a stew of trouble (see link re: fatal beating).
4. Nowadays, politics and religion seem to be intertwined. I don’t want to read posts about what your church says… or for you to tell me how to live my life according to your holy book. Don’t you realize that we all don’t belong to your church? Or read your holy book? Or that it’s hearsay and that its accuracy and exact origins can’t be pinpointed?
5. If you feel the need to start sh*t with someone, take a deep breath before you go on your tirade before replying… … heck, smoke a cigarette, have a cold glass of milk, or watch an old episode of Firefly… but just calm the heck down. I mean, seriously, is it worth it to put yourself out there as a ‘crazy person’ just because you are a knee jerk jerk? Plus, do you really understand what your intended victim was really trying to say? One downside to our digital society is the inability for people to recognize nuances (smirks, facial expressions, etc) that let us know when someone is being sarcastic or ‘tongue in cheek.’
6. Please understand that I’m not trying to chill anyone’s right or ability to post what they want. Just realize that, if you venture onto someone else’s page in an insulting/ holier than thou/ lecture-y sort of way, not everyone is going to smile and let you do it. And, if you go to someone’s page looking to start a fight, don’t turtle up and pretend to be a victim after you’ve opened that can of whoop ass on yourself. Your right to say what you want is just as important as my right to tell you you’re full of sh*t!
So what’s the main point? Think before you post… think about whether it’s something you’d say to someone’s face and, whether after, you would’ve been punched/ slapped or eye gouged because of it.
